King of the Rats

Ratheky's

King of the Rats

There comes a time in every man’s life when he has to give in no matter what. That time came for three men, one after the other, and it all revolved around a painting. This painting was discovered at a garage sale by a math teacher who was on the hunt for a rare signed first edition Gödel, Escher, Bach: A Mental Space Odyssey, but was distracted by the full-length portrait instead. It was one of many interesting paintings for sale, but he found this one especially hilarious and he paid $120 for it and took it home. The squabble that ensued between him and his wife could be heard by the neighbors two doors down.

“You tell me you’re searching for a rare book, but your goose-chase always ends with you bringing useless clutter into our lives.”

“The book won a Pulitzer Prize! I’d hardly call that a wild goose chase!”

“I don’t care how genius you think Douglass whatever you call him is!”

“It’s Hofstadter, dear and a signed first edition of his Space Odyssey would be priceless!”

“And yet today it has led to a painting of a dog licking his balls hanging in our living room!” It was hard to argue with that. “It might entertain your friends, but as the leader of the Baking for Change Association, I can’t be made to look stupid in front of the girls!” The rats in the painting gave her chills, and feeling disgusted by the rest of the animals, she swiped the frame off the wall and would’ve sent it flying out the door had the math teacher not caught it. “I will leave you if you try to hang that thing anywhere in this house! Do you hear me?”

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